What Type Of Parent Are You? Continuation

Here we look at the advantages and disadvantages of the three styles that we mentioned earlier?

(1) The Authoritarian Style:

Advantages of the Authoritarian style include that the rules are clear,

It establishes chain of command, It speeds up the child’s response;

It’s effective with very young and insecure kids, and can be useful in crisis times.

Disadvantages of the Authoritarian Style includes that it inhibits a child’s healthy individuation process; It retards mature communication; it promotes social dependence and incompetence;

It discourages decision-making and initiative-taking skills;

It elevates social anxiety and depression; it increases the likelihood of your child being intimidated and bullied, etc.

Authoritarians may maintain military-style discipline, but they seldom rear happy, healthy, creative kids!

(2) The Permissive Style:

The advantages of the permissive style include:

Kids usually adore permissive parents, feel close to and safe with them.

These parents never belittle kids, their ideas and perspectives, nor shame and embarrass or make them feel like failures. Rather, they encourage their thinking, innovation, initiative, social and communication skills.

They model forgiveness, patience, and flexibility.

The Disadvantages of the permissive style include:

Parental guidance is missing, and low demand for household responsibilities leaves kids unprepared for life in the real world.

They lack the structure and boundaries needed for relationships and the workplace, and have difficulty in accepting the word, ‘No!’.

The absence of a parental role model for leadership and decision-making leads to motivational deficit, requiring someone to ‘jump-start’ them to get them going.

This style provides many healthy, positive characteristics, producing kids who may be happy, but suffer losses productively and relationally.

(3) The ‘coach/trainer’ style:

The advantages of the coach/trainer style include:

The rules are clear, consistent and fair.

Parents are transparent, admitting their own shortcomings and apologising when it’s necessary.

They don’t issue repeated ‘warnings’, and consequences apply without exception.

Administering discipline is done with nurture, respect and reassurance.

Independence is encouraged by how well children handle limits and controls.

It provides kids with a safe, protective, loving environment for learning, while you, the parent, model respect, responsibility, trust and autonomy.

Movement toward adulthood is a joint parent-child project.

Disadvantages of this style: None!

source: http://www.ucb.co.uk/word-for-today-23468.html (12/2-14/2)

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