How to Increase Children’s Confidence and Self-Esteem – By Melenie Hibbert





Melenie Hibbert

Studies show that high self-esteem is the number one ingredient essential for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships and overall success in life. However, low self-esteem and confidence in children is a big problem faced by
many parents, and when the children are not supported, the impact of this can be felt and affect their adult lives.

Some children can become so overcome by their current perspectives that they cannot see anything positive about their abilities or even themselves. What this materializes as, is this deep-rooted belief that they cannot

do it, don’t know how, don’t care and nobody really expects them to! They have this mentality that it is not possible to achieve because of… this or that, so what’s the point in trying or when they meet their first challenge they respond with ‘see, told you I couldn’t do it!’

This mind-set makes it impossible for them to see their true selves or their real potential – so their lives have a danger of becoming a self fulfilled prophecy of negativity!

So how can parents help build confidence and self-esteem in their children?

Encourage them to BELIEVE in themselves!

To begin to shift our children’s mind-set from an “I can’t” attitude, we need to STOP them focusing on what they believe they CAN’T do and START focusing on what they CAN do and be THANKFUL for what they have.

When we believe we can’t do something our mind searches for evidence to prove it – seek and you shall find. We need to believe in ourselves and our ability to do something even if it takes a few obstacles to overcome.

When we believe we can do it our mind searches for evidence to prove it – seek and you shall find!

A good way to start the process with children is to get them to focus on what they CAN do; their successes and build on them. Create affirmations or positive statements that encourage and remind them how good they can be e.g. ‘I know I
can do this’, ‘I can do it if I think I can’, ‘I believe in myself and that’s all that matters’ etc. Affirmations or positive statements are fun, effective, easy to use and a great tool to build self-esteem and improve confidence.

Remind them that no-one is perfect and all one can do is his or her best. Be a source of unconditional love, supporting your child at every opportunity and encouraging them to see themselves as worthy of affection, abundance, love and trust. Reinforce that your child is NOT their behaviour; everyone makes mistakes and life is a process of learning and growing. No matter the mistake, ensure they know they are inherently good, lovable and worthy!

Speak respectfully to your children; reassuring them of the competence, capability and inherent value. Empower them to make their own choices whenever possible, building their belief in their own abilities to make good decisions and allowing them to learn from their mistakes. Give them responsibilities that nurture their self-confidence and belief in their abilities.

When parents are successful in managing negative thoughts, words and actions, their children will learn much from their example. By catching themselves before turning negative thoughts and judgements into destructive words and actions; parents can interrupt the downward spiral of unconsciously teaching such destructive behaviour to their children.

Parents can consistently acknowledge their children for worthwhile qualities they see in them. Get into the habit of finding something good about them or their deeds and point it out. Rather than focusing on their perceived weakness and faults, empower their strengths and communicate that everyone has unique gifts and talents that make them special. Support your children to identify their passions, pursue their special interests and develop their gifts.

Encourage children to have or discover their vision for their lives, believe in that vision, and that it will manifest itself when they truly believe and then take inspired action.

For further ideas on how to build confidence and self esteem in your children visit
For more information on our 6 Step program to Empower Children to Discover
their Genius and join our mailing list visit
Melenie Hibbert – Education Consultant, Coach and Mentor – The Primary
Learning Centre

Learning centre

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *